


Unconventional Cooking Methods

by roymaster45



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Abduction, Bondage, Damsels in Distress, F/M, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26889133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roymaster45/pseuds/roymaster45
Summary: Several months after Ganon's defeat, Queen Zelda tries to enjoy a relaxing afternoon on her own... unfortunately, the monsters in the area have other plans.
Relationships: Link/Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Kudos: 25





	Unconventional Cooking Methods

Zelda laughed gaily as she sped down the drawbridge, ignoring the shouts of the castle guards.She simply spurred on her horse, tightened her hold on the reins, and continued riding until the only thing she could hear was the wind in her hair.All around her, the climate was perfect: clear blue skies and a gentle breeze from the west.

Link had defeated Calamity Ganon three months ago.Since then, the kingdom was gradually beginning to come back to life.Ruined towns and outposts filled up with people, builders were hard at work repairing the castle… and to Zelda’s delight, the Silent Princess flowers were practically booming, growing in large patches all over Hyrule.Unfortunately, this also meant that hundreds of people came to court every day with complaints and disputes over the smallest things. Just this morning, she had listened to two farmers arguing about the borders of each other’s territory for hours.By the time they let her get a word in, the new queen was ready to smack them both over the head with a book.

She tried to handle all the bureaucratic minutia with as much grace as she could muster.Sometimes, however — like today — the boredom and frustration simply became too much to bear.She would dismiss the court with a firm but polite suggestion that everyone come back the next day; then, ignoring the protests of her advisors, she rode off to spend an afternoon on her own.It was pure bliss, especially on days with such excellent weather.

Once she was well past the borders of Castle Town, Zelda slowed her horse to a brisk trot.After about a few hours of riding, she reached her destination: a small pond with a tree next to it, just to the northeast of Lake Hylia.She tugged on the reins, bringing her horse to a gentle stop, before sliding off and tying the reins around the tree.

“Good boy, Storm,” she murmured with a smile as she fed him an apple from her bag.The horse finished off the treat in just a few bites, swishing his tail and licking his lips appreciatively.She patted her faithful steed’s head before sitting down at the base of the tree and pulling her book out.

Currently, she was reading through a geological history of the Eldin region.It wasn’t a particularly boring topic, but for some reason she just couldn’t focus today.Her mind kept drifting to her research, or the tapestries that had to be redone for the dining hall — and eventually, ended up on visions of a certain blond warrior.

Zelda smiled, feeling butterflies in her stomach as she thought of Link.He had stayed by her side almost constantly for the past twelve weeks, and she was starting to fall deeply in love with him.His courage… his rugged looks… his quiet, reserved nature… everything about him sent a warm tingle through her body.And although she couldn’t say for certain, she was pretty sure he felt the same way about her.

Finally, unable to keep her mind on Eldin ores, she decided to take a brief nap.She closed the book, placed it back inside her bag, and wrapped up her shawl to serve as a makeshift pillow.Laying down in the grass with a contented sigh, she closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.Her dreams continued to entice her with images of Link, and the future they could have together.

She wasn’t sure how long she slept — it could have been one hour, could have been three — but when she woke up, she noticed two strange sensations.The first was a tugging on her feet, as if somebody was trying to remove her footwear.The second was that her hands were clasped together, with a rough, stringy material wrapping around them… almost like they were being tied together with rope!

Zelda’s eyes flew open and she surveyed the scene.She was surrounded by a group of monsters — four Bokoblins, two Lizalfos, and a Moblin standing off to the side.One of the Bokoblins was roughly binding her wrists, while one of the Lizalfos sat on her legs and tried to yank her boots off.Storm (who was still tied to the tree) was growing more and more agitated, but hadn’t started bucking yet.

“What the—“

As soon as they realized she was awake, her captors sprang into action.The Moblin turned and held his weapon at the ready, while one of the other Bokoblins grabbed her rucksack and threw it into the water.

“Hey!That bag had a lot of valuable books in it, you little shit!” Zelda shouted, struggling fruitlessly against her captors.“Let me _GO_ , or I swear to Hylia that I wiMMMMMPHHH!”

She was interrupted mid-sentence when the other Lizalfos stuffed a dirty rag into her mouth.She tried to spit it out, but before she could do so, the scaly monster wrapped a thick cloth between her lips and tied it off behind her head.A sense of dread began to overtake her as she struggled against her predicament, to no avail.By now, the first Lizalfos had pulled off her boots and socks and cuffed her ankles together, with a short length of chain between them.

Satisfied with his work, the Bokoblin who had tied her arms pulled out a serrated knife, grabbed hold of her tunic’s collar, and began sawing through the fabric.Zelda blushed and intensified her efforts to escape.When one of the Lizalfos pointed a sword at her throat and growled meaningfully, however, she thought better of it and fell rigidly still.The rusted steel made short work of her top.To her dismay, the Bokoblin did not stop with her tunic — he also cut the straps of her bra.Nor did his efforts end at her waist.Instead, he continued cutting his way through her trousers and other undergarments.Her cheeks were redder than a Spicy Pepper by now, as the monsters stared hungrily at her smooth curves, her perky breasts, and her clean-shaven womanhood.

Eventually, one of them tore his gaze away long enough to grab another lengthy piece of cloth, which he placed over her eyes, wrapped around her head, and tied in place with a knot at the back of her skull.Her breath began to come in more and more nervous bursts as her vision was shrouded in darkness.Before she had time to prepare herself for whatever would come next, she felt her captors tie a length of rope to the bonds around her wrists, yank her to her feet, and begin pulling her along on a makeshift leash.Her heart broke when she heard Storm whinnying and neighing; however, she had no choice but to stumble along while her leash was pulled taut.

Zelda moaned into her gag as the monsters led her further away, to whatever horrible fate they had planned…

——————————————————————————————————————————

“This is a tragedy!” the master of coin exclaimed, pacing back and forth in front of the castle gates in extreme agitation.“This is a nightmare!This is… this is…”

“This is you overreacting again, Kelle,” the captain of the city watch replied.She was leaning against the walls, flipping a coin with a bored look on her face.“The queen said she was going to ride for some distance.She’s probably just taking her time coming back.”

“She always says that she’s going to ride ‘for some distance’, Tania,” Kelle retorted.His expression was always somewhat nervous and agitated, but right now, it could best be described as consternated.“And she always comes back within a few hours.When was the last time you remember her returning after sunset?”

Tania stared out at the horizon thoughtfully.The sun was hanging low, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink.“She _does_ seem to be out there later than usual… I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to ask him to go look for her.”

“Quite right.”

The two of them walked calmly but quickly through the castle, until they reached a small room near Zelda’s quarters.Link was sitting there, testing the string on his bow.

“Master Link?” Kelle asked tentatively.When the adventurer glanced up, he continued, “The queen went out riding several hours ago and hasn’t returned.We were wondering if you could go out and look for her?”

“I think she said she was planning to go somewhere near Lake Hylia,” Tania added.“Hopefully that helps.”

Link nodded, his expression remaining neutral.He sheathed his sword and grabbed his shield and quiver from the corner before leaving the room.The two of them followed him down to the stables, where he placed his saddle on Epona and hopped on.

“Please bring her back safely, Link,” Tania said softly.“Without her, the world will be a bleak place.”

Link nodded again before kicking his heels against Epona’s side.The horse whinnied and galloped out of the building.

After a few seconds, Kelle shook his head and sighed, “It still seems strange to me that he never says a word.”

“Agreed… although, I’ve heard rumors that he breaks his silence for the queen…”

——————————————————————————————————————————

Some time later, Zelda’s feet were so sore that she almost felt relieved when they stopped and her blindfold was removed.Unfortunately, her relief soon turned to terror as she saw what was in store for her.She was at the entrance to a dark, dingy cave lined with torches; in the center of the space was a flickering fire, with what looked like a spit-roasting stick propped up above it.Off to the side was another, unlit campfire, positioned underneath a giant cooking pot.She glanced around and realized that in addition to the monsters that had kidnapped her, there were close to a dozen other Bokoblins.Looking behind her, her heart sank as she saw the last rays of the sunset fading away.

The Bokoblin holding her leash gave it another tug and she stumbled down the slope into the cave.All the monsters cheered as she was forced to the ground, where the two Lizalfos uncuffed her ankles before tying her tightly to the spit-roasting stick.Once they were satisfied that she couldn’t escape, they picked Zelda up and positioned her above the campfire; one of the scaly creatures began slowly turning the stick so that each side of her body was exposed in turn to the sweltering flames.

_They’re roasting me like a stuck pig!_ the young queen realized, fuming. _But why?Are they going to eat me, or just humiliate me, or…?_

At first, it seemed as though humiliation was the most likely explanation.The monsters stared at her lustfully like they had before, but now, many of them also took turns walking up to run a hand along her body; each time made her shiver with disgust.Occasionally, one of them would even be bold enough as to grope her arse or her breasts, earning a squeak and then a muffled yell of protest from Zelda.

Soon, however, her indignation faded away as she noticed something even more concerning.The monsters had lit a fire underneath the giant cooking pot and were pouring some sort of liquid into it.After that, they started throwing all kinds of vegetables into the pot: carrots, onions, peppers.They were making a stew, and when some of the monsters started arguing in their language while pointing angrily at her, it wasn’t hard to figure out what the main ingredient was going to be.

Zelda struggled against her restraints with renewed vigor.Unfortunately, she was still bound too tight for her to move more than a fraction of an inch.Large beads of sweat started forming all over her body, and for the first time that day, she began to seriously dread the possibility that she might not escape this.

Suddenly, there was a whoosh of air… then she saw an arrow sticking out of one of the monster’s necks.No one paid him much mind as he collapsed to the ground, but when the next one was shot, everyone stopped and began looking around nervously.For a few seconds, nothing happened.Just as the queen’s newfound hope began to fade away once more, she saw a silhouette appear at the mouth of the cave.

Before anybody could react, the shadowy figure started to slide down the slope on what sounded like a piece of metal, shooting arrows at the monsters along the way.When he came into the light, Zelda let out a muffled cry of joy — it was Link!His face was shrouded in righteous anger as he leapt off his shield and began slicing through his foes.They tried to fight back; however, their crude weapons were like toothpicks compared to his Master Sword.

Within a few minutes, he had cornered the last Moblin against the wall of the cave.This monster — no longer taken by surprise — was giving the hero a run for his money.Zelda moaned in anguish as it knocked the blade out of Link’s hand, but her despair quickly turned to relief as her hero backflipped over the monster.At the peak of his arc, he pulled a dagger out of his belt and stabbed it through the eye.The Moblin howled in pain, then collapsed to the ground.A few twitches later, it was dead.

For a moment, everything was still.Zelda stared at Link as he breathed heavily, apparently not yet free of the fierce emotions that had seized him.Then she let out a muffled cry.He turned around, his face softening as he saw her.

“Zelda!Here, hold on.”

He hurried over and kicked the campfire out with his feet, then picked the spit up effortlessly and set her down gently on the ground.Using another dagger, he quickly cut the ropes binding her.As soon as her limbs were free, she untied the cloth around her mouth, spit out the now-damp rag, and threw her arms around him.

“Thank you, Link…!” she sobbed, tears of relief flowing down her cheeks.“Goddess… thank you…!”

Link returned the embrace, his tunic-clad arms giving her a much needed sense of security and comfort.Eventually, he gently pushed her away and began unfastening his cloak.“Here — use this to cover yourself.”

She took the article of clothing from him gratefully, wrapping it around herself and fastening it tight.As she did so, Link lit a torch and began searching the cave, scooping up any monster parts or weapons he could use for later.When they were all done, he took her gently by the hand and led her out of the cave.It was nighttime by now, with the moon already starting to rise in the sky.Zelda smiled weakly at the sight of Storm standing compliantly next to Epona, both horses swishing their tails.

“Let me help you up.”

With his assistance, she climbed up into Storm’s saddle.When he had done likewise for Epona, the two of them set off at a gentle trot back to the castle.

They arrived just after 11 PM.Surprisingly, Kelle and Tania were waiting at the gates for them.When they saw Zelda, both of them broke out into smiles of relief.

“Oh, thank heavens you’re still in one piece, Your Majesty!” the master of coin gushed as the two of them brought their horses to a stop.“Are you hurt?Did anything—?”

“No, everything’s all right, Kelle,” Zelda replied with a weak smile.“I’m just very tired and would like to go to bed, if that’s all right.”

“Yes, of course!”

Kelle and Tania bowed, then walked away as Link and Zelda brought their mounts into the stable.As she slid down from Storm, she looked at him and said quietly, “Link?”

“Mm?”

“Would you mind sleeping in my room tonight?I just… I don’t want to be alone…”

He nodded.“Of course.”

The two of them walked through the castle in silence until they reached Zelda’s chambers.At the door, Link paused and waited so that she could change into her sleepwear in privacy.After a few minutes, he heard her call out from inside: “OK, you can come in now.”

He entered the room.It was lit softly, with just a few candles, and the queen was sitting on the edge of her bed wearing an elegant nightgown.

“…you look nice,” he mumbled awkwardly.

She smiled.“Better than I did in that cave, I imagine.”

He nodded, then — without much more to say — laid down on the bedroll in the opposite corner of the room and closed his eyes.Within minutes, he was fast asleep.Zelda watched him for a few moments before walking over, leaning down, and gently kissing his lips.

“Thank you, Link.”

With that, she blew out the candles, climbed into her own bed, and drifted off to dreamland.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoo boy, this one's been in the works for... years now, I guess. I finally managed to finish it up over the summer, and while there are certain aspects I'm not too happy with, it gets the job done well enough.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! As always, (constructive) criticism and feedback is greatly appreciated :)


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